Deep in My Heart

Truthfully, after going through some serious family, friendship, school, boys and hostel problems, I'm actually surprised that I managed to endure all of them. Although I do break down at some point but still, I'm standing. A few times, I would stumble but never fall. Sometimes, I do hope I fall to see who would catch me and who would watch me until I meet the ground. These past weeks have been so overwhelming.

People say love is stronger than hate. That might be true. But at times, hate would grow stronger than love. People thought that with love, they'll survive. I can't argue with that logic but some people are lack of love but they still breathing. So my point is, love isn't everything. Don't waste your time on only one thing. There's still many aspect in life that needs your concern.

Honestly, I've been stressed out lately. My problems are getting to me. Sometimes I doubt my strength. I doubt I still have it in me, Th thing is, I'm weak but people around me wants to believe that I'm strong. Because ignorance is a new way of life. With ignorance, they're oblivious of the things that's happening around them. They locked themselves in a world with no concern and distractions.

Being left out is normal to me. Either it's my family or my friends. I feel like even if I have everybody around me, I still feel empty. They're happy, I'm sad. I'm happy, they ruin it. So basically, being alone is what keeps me alive. Being a loner is not so bad at all. You don't have to take care of other's feelings. Just take care of yours. Staying at hostel makes me realized that, taking care of people's feelings is literally the hardest thing to do.

In the end, I start to drift away from the crowds. It's not like they'll realize my absence. Both of my presence and absence means nothing. Maybe I'm just a burden or a mistake. But I want to feel special. I want to earn a special throne in someone's heart. I want people to pay attention to me. I want people to appreciate my presence. I want people to feel my absence. I want they to throw away their pride and just display their concern. It's not that hard.

Well, it's not like it matters. I'm alive, so they don't care. Being a professional loner, I have more experience of the painful reality of life. When people drift away, that's when I repent for my sins. I realized, I'm not alone. I still have Allah and Prophet Muhammad. My family's still here to support me. And for that I'm grateful.

Anime Review: Dusk Maiden of Amnesia

Alternative Titles: Tasogare Otome x Amnesia, Koukin Otome x Amnesia

Genre: Fantasy, mystery, romance, supernatural, comedy

Episodes: 13

Summary:

The story takes place in Seikyou Private School. A facility that consists of multiple buildings that connect together to accommodate both junior and senior high school students. Sixty years of ongoing renovations and expansions have meants most of the old inner structures have been sealed and abandoned. Classrooms turned into storage rooms, staircases no longer in use, hallways like dark alleys. With the existence of such a maze-like building, it is only natural that rumours of the paranormal would appear.

One day, first-year middle school student, Teiichi Niiya gets lost in this maze and by chance arrives at an old storage room. This is where he meets Yuuko Kanoe, a mysterious girl with raven black, long silky hair and a tall and slender figure, who introduces herself as the ghost of the old school building. For some unexplainable reason, Niiya is the only one who able to see this spirit and she herself does not have any recollection of the reasons or time of her death, nor any lingering feelings about life itself.

Curious about the circumstances of her death, the two create a paranormal investigation club and seek to find out the truth about it and the many other mysteries surrounding the school.

Opinion:

A dark, romantic anime. Such an amazing anime. Each characters express their unique characteristics really well. This is my all time favorite romantic and supernatural anime.

It's romantic, sad, funny, mysterious and simply fun to watch. But to be honest, I think ghost x human relationship won't last. I mean, how about the wedding? Family? Baby? You can't expect a ghost to be the bride when only Niiya can see her. But I still love this anime tho.

To me, it's not scary at all and I like the plot. There's many obstacles that tear their relationship apart, but they fight for their love. Love doctor is my part-time job. (I've never been into a relationship actually and I don't intend to be in one for the time being.)

The problems are, there's some inapropriate scenes (What do you expect? This is an anime) and kinda confusing at first but you'll probably understand afterwards.

Fave. Character: Kirie Kanoe (I honestly don't know why I like her... I just do. But I think I like her tough personality)

Fave. OTP: Teiichi x Yuuko (Obviously)

Rate: 4/5

Review: Elianto Frosty Set

My second brother (I have four older brother and 1 younger) got me the Elianto Frosty Set although it's May now but whatever. I was super excited when I first got it because I thought it was from B&BW but it's fine. Hey! It's from my brother. That's a surprise because he rarely gave me things. Anyway, this set comes with 3 things. All of the products are Cherry Blossom scented. The scent is light and a little hint of sweetness.

The first one is the body mist. It's in a luxurious potion-like bottle (Harry Potter mode ON). The cap is a diamond-shaped plastic. They also provide a spray cap so dah, you can spray it. I love the fact that the scent is not too overwhelming. Truth to be told, I despise perfumes because I get dizzy whenever I sniffed them. But this scent doesn't make me dizzy which is super awesome. But it's not too strong, sometimes I can barely smell it.

The next one is the hand cream. I'm in need of a hand cream but haven't got the time to buy it. So I was really grateful that they provide a hand cream in this set. The texture of the hand cream is light but not too runny. It's just feels nice to slather on because I make me feel like my skin is drinking up the cream. It super hydrating and moisturizing so it's really great if you have dried hands. I sometimes got dried hands and trust me, it is not fun!

Lastly but not least is the shower gel. I haven't use it yet so I don't know if the scent lingers or not. But for some reason, whenever I sniffed the shower gel, it makes me feel nostalgic. It kinda brings me back to the past. Is that weird? But seriously though, it does.

Price: RM 15 (online)

Where to buy: I'm not sure because this is a gift. You can search it online or go to the outlet. But I'm not positive.

Pros: ~ Body Mist

           - Non-overwhelming scent

           

           ~ Hand Cream

           - The light texture

           - Hydrating

           - Moisturizing

           ~ Shower Gel

           - Nostalgic (lol)

Cons: Can't think of anything right now.

Rating: 7/10

Review: Dalacin T Topical Solution

I got this product just recently. My acne and pimple has gotten worse. They're everywhere. And during an event at my cousin's house, my aunt asked my cousin what's effective for acne-prone skin and she suggested Dalacin T. It's a solution and comes in a small bottle but trust me, it will last for a long time.

When I first look at it, I thought it was a prescription product but you can get it over the counter from any pharmacy. The way you have to use it, you just dab it on your 'best friend'. I use this every night and after 3 days, my pimple has gone smaller and some are spotless with no marks. Ever since that, I use it non-stop. I am simply addicted to this product.

But keep in mind not to use it when you have no pimples. This have an active, potent ingredient in it. It's acidic so it can dry out your skin. Try to use it moderately, like only when you really need it. Yes, I know prevention is better than cure. But in this case, that proverb isn't much of a help. 

You can use it on the morning or evening too. But I just prefer to use it at night. Ever since I got this, my skincare routine has become much simpler. I just wash my face, apply eye cream and use the Dalacin T. I don't use toner or moisturizer because I thought it might be hard for the solution to penetrate into my acne if I have layers of skincare product.

More Info:

Price: RM 38 or more (depending on where you get it)

Where to buy: I don't know because my mom got it for me. But I think you can get it over the counter from Watsons, Guardian or any local pharmacies.

Pros: - Fade my acne without leaving any marks.

          - Doesn't take weeks to banish my acne.

          - Last for a long time.

Cons: - Dry out my skin.

           - If I apply it just near my eyes, it burns. 

Rating: 8/10

Repurchase: Absolutely!

Current Skincare Routine 😘

My skin type is oily and a bit sensitive but some part of my face is dry usually around the corner of my nose, chin and underneath my eyes. My face is really oily, as if I just poured an entire bottle of oil on my face. And because of that, pimples, acne and blackheads popped everywhere. It's so devastating as I tried to conceal them but no use. But now, my skin has improved a lot since I used just the right product for my face. Acne, pimples and blackheads vanished and my skin becomes less oily. I'm only 15 but I think taking care of my skin is important, even at a young age. Since I'm a teen, I don't use so many products on my face and just keep it simple.

•  Morning Skincare Routine

I like to keep it fresh and hydrating as possible in the morning.

Step 1: Cleanse

Currently, I'm using two cleansers and alternate them every week. These two are great for people with oily and acne prone skin. The first one would be my NuTeen Acne and Pimples Away Cleanser. It's a gel cleanser and is really nice to use in the morning when my skin is tired. It has some sort of cooling effect and refreshing feels to it that help to wake me up in the morning. Gel cleansers tends to leave residue after rinsing and doesn't lather up well. I could say this cleanser lather up just a bit well and does leave residues. I don't think this cleanser is great to prevent acne but I like to use it in the morning to energize my face from the night.

The second cleanser is the Neutrogena Deep Clean Revitalizing Pink Grapefruit Foaming Scrub. That's a long name. I like this scrub. It's super gentle for daily use as the scrub beads are so small and there also some pink beads which I believe called bursting beads. It feels light to use in the morning because it's also a gel scrub. I prefer to use gel cleansers in the morning as they are really great for people with oily skin. What I like about this product is that, after I wash my face using this, my face is so soft, like baby skin. And the citrus scent wakes me up in the morning. It has the nicest fruity scent.

Step 2: Toner

This is a crucial step in my skincare routine. A lot of people think that toner is not important but they're so wrong! Toner helps to minimize the size of your pores, balance the pH. level of your skin, removes any makeup, impurities and cleanser residues. I personally love using toner because it makes my skin feel so refreshed. The one I'm using in the morning is the Simple Kind To Skin Soothing Facial Toner. This toner contains no fragrance, alcohol and color. It also has some vitamins (pro-vitamin B5 and pro-vitamin B) and skin loving ingredients (chamomile, witch hazel and allantoin). To be honest, when I first use it, it burns my face like crazy. I read somewhere that natural ingredients can irritate the skin. But after a while, my skin adjusted to the ingredients and it becomes soothing.

Step 3: Eye Treatment

The one I'm using for my eye area is the Garnier Brightening Eye Roll-On. I like to use this in the morning since it's super hydrating for my dry under eye. Sometimes, I like to massage my eye area with the roll-on. It helps to de-puff my eyes with the cool metal ball. I didn't notice the brightening effect tho, but I like to hydrate my eyes with this.

Step 4: Moisturize

I usually like to skip this step because I thought it's not that important. But I'm proven wrong by many youtubers and bloggers. I prefer a light moisturizer so I use the Simple Kind To Skin Hydrating Light Moisturizer. This moisturizer is really hydrating and doesn't break me out. It also helps me with my oily face problem. I read somewhere that people with oily skin should use water-based moisturizer, so this is perfect for my skin.

Step 5: Sunscreen

Since my moisturizer doesn't have SPF in it, I'll apply sunscreen on my face. I usually buy the cheap but good ones. I completely in love with the Follow Me Oil Control + Whitening Hydrating Sun Shield. The texture is really light and it hydrates my skin while keep it matte. It's suitable for all skin types. You can use it as a primer too.

• Night Skincare Routine 

I do more intense skincare routine during the nighttime.

Step 1: Cleanse

To remove any makeup, oil and impurities, I use the Olay Gentle Foaming Face Wash. It's super gentle as it doesn't strip away all of the natural oils from my face. It is great for all skin type but this is specially formulated for people with normal/sensitive skin. But I find it works just fine for me. This cleanser is fragrance-free, dye-free and surprise, SOAP-FREE! It is a foaming cleanser but when I massage it into my skin, it doesn't have that slippery soapy feeling. It's weird but cool. There's also aloe in here which serves so many different purpose.

Step 2: Exfoliate

I use the Biore Facial Foam Glowing Bright to exfoliate my face every night. It is very gentle to use everyday since it's formulated with skin purifying technology which makes the micro beads so small and crushable. I particularly love the scent of this foam cleanser. It has the nice natural scent that's not too overwhelming. And it does makes my skin glow.

Step 4: Toner

The one I'm using is the Simple Kind To Skin Soothing Facial Toner. It hydrates my skin and does irritate my acne and open wounds. It contains no alcohol so it won't dry out your skin.

Step 5: Eye Treatment 

During the night, I use an eye cream instead. I apply the Safi Rania Gold Eye Contour Cream underneath my eyes and my eyelids. You can use it for both morning and night as the texture is really light and hydrating. But I prefer to use it at night. I noticed that ever since I use this eye cream, my fine lines are pretty much gone and it brighten my under eyes a bit.

Step 6: Moisturize

I prefer a lightweight moisturizer so I use the Simple Kind To Skin Hydrating Light Moisturizer. A tiny amount goes a long way. It's super hydrating and doesn't make my skin oily or anything. Super gentle.

Step 7: Acne Treatment

I just discovered this product recently and now it's my holy grail product. It's the Pfizer Dalacin T Topical Solution. The solution is formulated for acne.I dab it on my acne and then the next morning when I woke up, my acne are gone! This is a miracle products for me! But it can be a little too drying.

• Weekly Treatments 

- Clay Mask

Clay masks are great for people with acne and oily prone skin. They absorb the dirt and oil. The one I'm using is the Freeman Facial Clay Mask Avocado and Oatmeal. I use it twice a week. Honestly, I bought it because I watched one of the Stillababe09's monthly favorite videos. I saw it and I was hooked so I have to get it.

- Abrasive Exfoliation

I do this thrice a week. Getting rid of dead skin cells is a must. I'm using St. Ives Blemish Control Apricot Scrub at the moment. It's a deep exfoliator so it can scratch your skin. This one is meant for people with acne and pimple. It is hard to rinse of, I'm not gonna lie but it's totally worth it. It leaves my skin feeling so soft and smooth like a baby's butt.

P.S I know I'm way too young to use all of these products. But prevention is better than cure, so why not? Besides, I'm addicted to skincare. Don't judge.

Anime Review: Attack on Titan

Alternative Title: Shingeki no Kyojin

Genre: Dark fantasy, post apocalyptic

Episodes: 25 (Currently)

Summary:

Several hundred years ago, humans were nearly exterminated by giants or specifically Titans. Titans are typically several stories tall, seem to have no intelligence, devour human beings and worst of all, seem to do it for the pleasure rather than as a source of food. A small percentage of humanity survived by walling themselves in a city protected by extremely high walls, even taller than the biggest of Titans.

Flash forward to the present and the city has not seen a Titan in over 100 years. Teenage boy, Eren Jaeger and his foster sister, Mikasa Ackerman witness something horrific as the city walls are destroyed by an extremely tall Titan which is the Colossal Titan that appears out of thin air. As the smaller Titans flood the city, Eren and Mikasa watched in horror as their mother is eaten alive by the cruel and heartless Titan. Ever since that tragic incident, Eren vows that he will slaughter every single Titan and avenge for the humanity.

Opinion:

There's only one word that could describe this anime: Perfection. The plot is just so amazing. This anime can literally make you cry, laugh, happy but most of all, curiosity. There's many surprises too like when...

SPOILER ALERT!

Eren got eaten by a 'beardy' and old looking Titan to save Armin. I was like, damn! That's unbelievable and absurd. The most passionate person got eaten by his enemy himself. At that very moment I thought, lies everywhere. And suddenly, a tough looking Titan appeared and beat other Titan's ass.

And Eren's Titan form is simply cool and tough.

It's filled with mysteries. So many unanswered questions. Examples: Does Dr. Jaeger still alive? How did Eren got his Titan ability? I can't freaking wait for season 2. I'm not so pumped about the upcoming movie. I just want the season 2. Is that weird?

And this anime doesn't show you specifically how the people got eaten by those cruel Titans. There's still blood but in my opinion, this has decent amount of violence. It's incomparable to Akame ga Kill! or Corpse Party as those anime are much more hardcore.

Random opinion, I love how they use the 3D maneuver gears. It's just so freaking cool! And the way they have to kill the Titans is just unique. So you can see various types of skills. I particularly adore Levi's and Mikasa's skill. This is weird but I have a thing for emotionless and cold characters although my personality is way different. Cold anime characters are cool!

The plot is unique. The writer's imagination is out of this world. But you'll see a sh*t load of death. Despite the intensity, there's a pinch of comedy because of the potato girl.

To be honest, when I'm laying on my bed, I keep thinking that a Titan might blow off the roof and eat me. An overthinker problem.

And, I hate mysteries. So much curiosities. I'm not a patient person, as you can probably tell. And I don't really mind the spoilers.

Lastly, the theme song, Guren no Yumiya is so amazing, wonderful, captivating (Insert all nice adjectives)

Fave Character: Mikasa (I told you, I love cold characters. Besides, she's skilled and pretty)

Fave OTP: Levi x Mikasa (You can call me weird)

Rate: 5/5

Introduction!

Welcome to my blog, peeps! I'll be posting things about beauty, anime and my typical daily life. Some post might be filled with total randomness or should I say stupidity. But fear not dear readers, it won't be completely stupid or something. Now sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee (or tea if you prefer. Or maybe the beverage that you like, meh) and continue reading my blog. Hope you stay updated and enjoy reading my posts. 

-Sometimes, I thought my life is on stage. Too many dramas, Ilya (Myself)